December 31, 2003
Being Single Is Not A Curse
I pay attention to guys too much.
Plus, whenever I think of them, I feel even more insecure about myself, like "Gosh, my thighs are so fat" or "Look at my face. Yuck!" I think sometimes (a lot, actually) that if I had a boyfriend, it would make me feel a lot better about myself, because I'd know someone out there loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. But no, I'd feel worse.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually don't think I'm ready for a boyfriend at this time of my life. During this time being single (which is NOT a curse), I should be learning to accept myself and get closer to Jesus. So this is actually a blessing. But I'm praying that when I do meet that special someone someday, I hope that day will be totally worth waiting for.
Karyssa told me a while ago that I think about guys too much, and she said that if I had a boyfriend, what would I do with them anyway? It's true. What would I do? Besides kiss them, I mean. And right now, I believe it is impossible to get a guy to like me. Like, the chances are negative zero. Negative zero isn't a number, no? It doesn't exsist. You get the picture.
This is a time to accept myself. I read it also in my Brio magazine. There's this girl from Oxford that talked about it. I really hope that she becomes the Brio Girl of 2003(4) whatever. Well, I'm ready to start accepting myself. I'll start now!
....Um, this may take awhile.
Well, I should get off this soon. Remember when I told you that I was going to a party today? Well, I'm at it right now. Everyone's just playing a Mario race game on Nintendo Gamecube, and I decided to go on here, which is what I always seem to do at parties. (I'm addicted to this thing). And we all had Sunkist, so we're all really hyper right now. Well, at least we used to be. We did really funny poses of everything. I even modeled for Sunkist! I'll have to put them on my diary, they're really funny.
Well, 50 mins till 2004! Yes, I can get out of this 2003, a not-so-good year. Hopefully 2004 will be much better, since I'm going to start to accept myself.
49 mins now. I should go. Happy New Year again!!!! :)
wait4you at 11:01 p.m.
