June 22, 2007
Say Anything
Well, I saw my new counselor yesterday. I have to say that it did not go well.
For one, when I tell her something, she just goes 'Mmm hmm' and God knows what on her clipboard. She doesn't even give me any advice or whatever! She just makes me feel like an idiot. Is that what a counselor is supposed to do? Not that I can remember.
Plus, when I ask her opinion on something, she doesn't give me one! She just goes 'Now, why do you want to know what I think?' So that must obviously mean that she has a bad opinion about me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Well, I feel better when I know what people think about me, so I can stop worrying. She needs to know that so I won't turn into a spazz attack around her.
She even made me cry. On the second trip to her. Second. When my other counselor made me cry, it was after a few months of seeing her. And even then she tried to make me feel better. This new counselor just stared at me like some kind of FREAK.
That's what I feel like around her. A FREAK. I hate feeling like a freak. Plus she's really pretty, and I hate being around pretty people. I feel freaking ugly when I'm around pretty people. It's hard to see why people can love me. I mean, I look like I'm 14 when I'm 17 and even though my face is 14-ish, 14-year-olds don't have bodies like Scarlett Johansen's. My mom says I'm skinny, but she's just saying that to be nice. When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE it. I hate how I look.
So she made me feel like an ugly freak. NICE.
I gotta stop venting for now. Just thinking about this makes me feel dizzy and angry.
But seriously, when she sees me, she should say SOMETHING.
wait4you at 11:20 a.m.
